November 25 2014
I put Milton in his Thundershirt and couldn't have picked a better day to do it.  My neighbor directly across the street was blowing leaves when we went out for mid-day piddle; Milton didn't even pay attention to her.  When I came home for the night, my lawn service had finally been to the house to blow leaves, clean gutters, and trim bushes.  I went in wondering if I would find a berserk Milton and the crate contents in ruins.  Nope!  My boy was chill and had no unusual behavior.
My conclusion:  the Prozac has kicked in, he feels safer, and we're on the way to a happier life.

November 24 2014
Some goodies arrived today for Milton from Amazon: a self-warming crate pad, a Thundershirt, and Bach Rescue Remedy (Adaptil was hard to find, expensive, and I've heard good things about Rescue Remedy so I thought I'd give it a shot).
I just took off Milton's harness and I didn't even pay attention to the fact that he had his soft toy in his mouth. Then I spent a few minutes trying to figure out how the Thundershirt goes on, and when I went to put it on him, I moved his toy. He didn't get aggressive but let me know that he'd prefer to keep it, so I'll try the Thundershirt again later. How did I know "he'd prefer to keep it"? I guess a quick movement to keep it in his mouth, and that was it - no other signs. So he's still attached to some toys, but not enough to fight me over it. That's an improvement, I'd say!
I'm wondering how long I should wait to invite anyone to the house. Milton does seem to be tons better. I have a couple of projects that I need help with - moving furniture - and I don't want to do that yet till I get some direction from Dr. Beth.

November 23 2014
A good day with nothing unusual to report. Milton certainly knows "down"! Now he'll go into a "down" without the command and seem to expect a treat! Nope, he only gets the treat if I say "down". He's such a smart little stinker! Gosh, I love him.

November 22 2014
Last night Milton was a bit growly - the bad neighbors had some guests, I guess. When we went out front for a piddle, he was distracted, got startled at something, etc.  When we went back in, he kept going to the top of the stairs and the sliding glass door and doing little growls, but never went anywhere near crazy. We had our cuddle, and I put on some "Through a Dog's Ear" music for him, which I usually don't do when we go sleepies.
Today has been a great day. We had two walks in daylight!! and he was a good boy, even with a lone walking female. He looked over and checked her out, then went back to sniffing for a good spot. I did some work in the backyard and hooked him to a tree branch. He just lay there in the sunshine while I worked. He just loves sunshine! We came back in and I did some work in the garage while he was inside. I kept waiting for some barking or scratching, but nothing. He was just waiting for me when I came back in. I also moved some furniture and he just hung out and watched.
We did some training, and I can now say that my boy knows his seven common commands. I'm so proud!
I think he's gotten over the tiredness from the Prozac, too.

November 21 2014
So today I'm testing my poop theory - after breakfast, we just went out for a piddle and no walk. I figure I'll solve a couple problems by walking him during lunch instead. That solves the problem of walking in the pitch dark when there are a ton of people and cars around, and it might get him on a once-a-day poop schedule and free me from frustration. We'll see!
Got home from work for the weekend - went piddles, but he wasn't interested in pooping yet. So we did some training.
WHAAAAHOOOOOO!!  Milton knows "down"!  Mom's doing a happy dance.  What a smart and handsome boy!
About midafternoon, while I was on the computer, Milton sent me a message by going to the top of the stairs, lying down, and looking at me. I didn't catch on right away, then I heard him go all the way down the stairs.  Ah ha!  Yep, it was poop time.  So he's sending me signals and I'm learning to read them.  What a smart and beautiful mom!  ;-)
When we came back in, he looked across the street at a neighbor doing some yard work and did a little growl, but that was it. A few weeks ago, he tensed up at the end of the leash and barked and barked.
Progress!

November 20 2014
Only unusual thing today was Milton not wanting to budge from his crate again this morning. So no breakfast or walk. I gave a meal when I went home for lunch, then out to the backyard for piddles and poops. No poops.
After dinner, out to the pitch dark backyard for poops. I had to walk him around and around the yard for about 20 minutes to get a poop out of him.
I always thought/knew/was told(?) that doggies need to do their business after every meal, and that was true of my four other dogs, but maybe not for Milton? Maybe I should just chill out about insisting on getting a poop out of him twice a day?

November 18 2014
After a cuddle last night, I put Milton in his crate and we went sleepies (around 9:30).
This morning I came upstairs at around 6:00 a.m. as I usually do on a work day. I opened the crate door, and usually Milton comes out, stretches, and we hang out on a the sofa for a few minutes waking up. This morning he didn't want to budge. Was he tired? Cold and not wanting to leave his warm crate? I finally got him up by fixing coffee and then fixing breakfast, but I had to coax him to eat. 
Usually he wants to go walkies right after he eats, but he wanted to go back to his crate! Really, I didn't blame him. Nice warm crate, or walkies in the single digit breeze? It takes forever for me to get it together for a walk in this weather: coat, earmuffs, scarf, gloves, coat for Milton put on just right over his leash and harness, poop bag, kleenex, treats, clicker, flashlight... lordy, I want to move back to someplace warm!! Milton gets impatient while I go through this rigmarole and I always worry he'll poop right there by the door. He never has, but I had one doggie that would have done that. Anyway, we didn't encounter anyone else on the walk (they obviously have more sense than I do), Milton did his business, we came back in, and he went directly to his crate.
So I don't know how worried to be about this behavior. Maybe it's the cold, Prozac, both? I keep the house at 66 degrees in the winter. I hate it, but can't afford to raise the temperature and might even have to lower it further. All I want to do is cry these days!
While I was back in the bathroom getting ready, I heard one loud bark, but I don't know what caused it. My guess would be one of the bad neighbors starting one of their huge vehicles, or their poor doggie that was out in the freezing cold. I feel so sorry for the poor thing - he has a shock collar, and I'm not sure if they keep him outside 24/7, but they do make him stay outside quite a lot, and he just barks.
Anyway, one loud bark at a stimulus is an improvement. When I first got him, or even as little as a couple weeks ago, he probably would have been a lot more excited and run to the sliding glass door, still barking. 
Such a nice warm greeting when I got home from work. He reaches his little arms up and just stands against me and I bend over and hug him and scratch his back and rub his ears... he can stand that way for a long time.
It's now after dinner and we just got back from a relatively long walk, and he didn't poop, even after coming back and walking him around the backyard - a LOT - and saying "Poop! Go poop!" Finally I gave up when I hit the point of frustration. So all I can do is, once again, stick him in his crate all night. At this rate, he's only outside the crate for a couple hours a day. That can't be good for him. I'm crying, I'm so frustrated. I'm a horrible puppy mom.

November 17 2014 
Bad weather day and it will be worse tomorrow! Milton doesn't like cold rain. Neither does Mommy. He peed on a bush but wouldn't have anything to do with pooping in the morning, so he had one poop in the backyard during lunch. He seems to be OK with one poop per day (knock on wood).
A good training day! I want to teach him to know his toys by name as a brain game. I saw a story on CBS last month about a border collie (his name is Chaser) that knows over a thousand toys by name. How cool would it be to teach Milton to distinguish between even two at this point?
So over the weekend I got out a new soft toy that looks like a hamburger and when I gave it to him, I said, "Look, Milton! It's burger!" and I've called it burger many times since. Now I can say "Where's burger?" and he'll go and get it. Tonight I decided to change it up and distinguish between toys, so I said "Green bone! Milton, where's green bone?" That's a hard chewing toy that was also available to him but was being ignored in favor of "burger". After giving "green bone" to him and calling it "green bone" I said, "Milton! Where's burger?" He went to burger but then came back to green bone.
That's my smart boy!  Maybe we can give Chaser a run for his money... ;-)
No aggression incidents today, but he didn't really have an opportunity for that. I notice that he does hit a point during training where he's ready for it to end, and I'm paying attention to that. I'll try to be more observant about the physical signals, but so far, somehow I just "know".

November 16 2014
Once again, Milton was very tired this morning and just wanted to sleep. After a pee, I just let him sleep and didn't give him breakfast till about 9:00. We went walkies in the backyard and he pooped right away.
I think I just realized that I'm avoiding going for walks in the neighborhood like the plague. I don't like u-turning at all. I'll do it - and was doing it already - if we're obviously about to encounter a difficult situation (joggers, leaf blowers) but really, I don't even want to deal with it. He has a few preferred poop spots, and u-turning often means we walk away from a good poop spot. So we've been walking in the backyard a lot, which is not enough exercise for him.
On the other hand, he's done a lot of sleeping today.
Did more training, sit, stay, come, look, and down. Still don't get the clicker choreography. And he still isn't understanding "down", but I'll keep physically putting him into the position while I say "Down! Milton is down! Good down!" I know this isn't the optimal way, but he did learn "sit" that way. So we'll see what happens.
This afternoon Milton ran to the back door a few times (when I say that, I mean the sliding glass door) and got excited about squirrels, but not about the neighbor in back of me mowing and leaf blowing. The neighbor didn't seem to faze him at all, even though he could see and hear him. So maybe that's the Prozac, and is a big improvement!
It's cold and raining and I just HATE this weather, hate the darkness, hate the whole idea of going out in it. It makes me miss my two elderly boys, Kobi and Timmy who, if the weather was nasty would pee fast on the bushes but be happy to hold their solid business until the weather improved. Obviously I can't trust Milton not to poop in the house, so if he doesn't poop outside all I can do is put him in his crate. Not a good solution for either him or me.
Yep, sometimes I feel resentment. This little dog has turned my life upside down, and I was already so stressed by my job... but I made a promise that I was Milton's last home and that I would work with him no matter what. But I ask myself why? Why now? If I was still a religious or spiritual person I'd say "God never gives us more than we can handle" but that's just a BS platitude. I also miss every single one of my other doggies and find myself shedding tears every so often over one or another of them. From having Milton, I've learned more about them, and I wish I had them back so I could make up for my shortcomings as a puppy mom. 
Anyway... we had a good walk, encountered more cars but no people up close and personal, he was a good little walker and walks next to me with a slack leash most of the time. A big change from the pulling he did when I first got him.
Cuddle time and then off to sleep.

November 15 2014
Woke up early but didn't get out of bed until it started getting light. Milton was much more perky this morning than he was yesterday. We had a lovely frigid walk. At one point something startled him and he moved quickly sideways. There was no one there, so it was something he saw out of the corner of his eye, maybe - falling leaf? This was a different response - normally he would start growling, barking... but we just kept walking. I had the hood of my down coat up and couldn't see much, and a little later there was a woman with a dog and by the time I saw them it was too late for a u-turn - we were already passing each other on opposite sides of the street - but it didn't seem to faze Milton a bit. Passed a neighbor's house on the way back and there was a noise from the driveway - once again, a bit of a startle but no growl or bark. There was also a loud rumbly pickemuptruck going by on the cross street, and normally there would be some response to that, but none. I do believe the Prozac might be kicking in!
An unfortunate incident later in the day. We were training and I was trying to teach "down". I got clickers yesterday and was trying to juggle treats, verbal command, hand signal, clicker... I was trying to teach "down" the usual way by bringing the treat down and sliding it forward. He put up with this for awhile and then got impatient, and snatched a treat right out of my fingers. That took talent - he was able to grab the tiny piece of salmon treat right out of my fingers without actually touching my fingers! So he was trying to get the treat, but not bite me. Still, it wasn't desired behavior. I was kind of at a loss and didn't know what to do, so I just stood up and walked away - training over!
I find working with the clicker to be extremely difficult so far. You need three hands! One for the treat, one for the hand signal, and one for the clicker. I don't get it, unless you hold the clicker in the hand that does the hand signal - but that means he sees the clicker! Then again, I can't dance either. Anything that involves choreography, forget it. I don't know if this method will work for me.
Went for a long and uneventful walk, but he wouldn't poop. I find this really frustrating. I gave up and we came back home, but I put him in the crate because I didn't want him pooping in the house. So that meant he spent the whole evening in the crate.
So the day ended with both of us being less than happy.

November 14 2014
A bit of a weird day. Milton was very tired when we woke up. After he went pee, I made coffee, and normally he would get a toy and watch me, but instead he went to the bed next to the chair and fell back asleep. I sat on the couch with the coffee and called him, he came up next to me, and promptly fell back asleep again. I figured this was due to the increased Prozac dose. I sat there for half an hour and he didn't stir, even when I got ready for work. Instead of giving him breakfast I decided to let him keep sleeping and put him back in his crate. 
I worried a little about him not having walkies/poop or breakfast, but he was fine when I got home for lunch. I took him around the yard for pees and poops - thank goodness he's OK pooping in the yard without a walk on horrible weather days!
Since he hadn't had any breakfast training went really well because he was hungry for some treats, so we were able to have a longer training session. We did sit, stay, look, and seek. I still can't get him to do "down" using the usual methods, so I'll try what I did with "sit" - which was to say sit, mash his butt, say "good sit!" and reward - and eventually he figured it out. 
I LOVE Fridays because I don't work in the afternoons - I work 7:30 - 5:30 Monday to Thursday and 7:30 - 11:30 on Friday. I still had work to do, so Milton hung out with his toys while I was at the computer.
By the way... I've started noticing that once in awhile he'll bring me a toy - bring it toward me and a couple of times, even dropped it. I'm very enthusiastic and say "thank you!" when he does this. I pick it up if he seems to be receptive to me doing that, keep it for just a couple seconds, then give it back to him or throw it. I also touch his toy if he brings one up on the couch and seems receptive - not when he first jumps up, but eventually he'll let go of it and then I can move it slightly. I want to work on him getting used to me touching his toys before I work up to trying to take anything out of his mouth if I ever have to.
Speaking of which - a few weeks ago we were walking in the backyard and there was a huge piece of bone in the yard, still with gristle and blood - YUCK! Must have been a bone someone had given their dog, who was allowed to run loose and then came into our yard and left it there. I knew I would have a very hard time trying to take it out of his mouth, though he did let me take hold of it (I don't remember whether this was before or after the bristle bone incident when he attacked me). At that point I wasn't trying to take it away by force. I was pretty concerned - I HAD to get it away from him somehow - I do NOT want him to have bones, cooked or uncooked, and certainly not bones whose origin I don't know. So what I tried after a few minutes was to pick him up by the leash and have him stand on his back legs while his front legs dangled. I didn't say anything or move, just let him dangle while he tried to keep hold of his prize. Eventually he wasn't able to keep hold on the bone anymore and dropped it, at which point we hustled away fast and went back in the house. But he was fixated on getting back to it - kept running toward the back door. So I put him in the kitchen so he wouldn't see me in the backyard, I went out and found it and disposed of it. I went back in and he was still at the back door, wanting to go out and find the thing, so I took him out and let him search the whole yard for it. Eventually he realized it wasn't there anymore and we went back in.
Anyway, back to today! The rest of the day was good. I had a doctor appointment that went really long, and put Milton in the kitchen with gates while I was gone, and he was fine with that. We had dinner, a short walk and poop in the backyard, and good cuddles.

November 13 2014
Up slightly earlier than usual this morning. Came upstairs and my boy was very sleepy. When we did our morning couch cuddle he fell right back asleep. All my other dogs have wanted to make a beeline for a pee as soon as they wake up - not this boy! I figured he was a little knocked out from the increased Prozac dose. I made coffee and just kept sitting with him for awhile listening to his breathing and touching him. Speaking of breathing, aparently he had some lung damage from the heartworms. Do we need to do x-rays to find out how bad it might be?
I needed to get in the shower and wondered if I should do that and then walk him afterward, but when I stood up he woke up and we went out for a brief pee, they upstairs for breakfast, which he ate well and then out the door for a walk...
And one of the bad neighbors was just backing out the driveway in one of their huge trucks and Milton barked and lunged, but not in a crazy frantic way. Maybe he's just acting out what I'm already thinking? :-) So I walked him down the driveway and went the other way and very soon he was fine. But we saw a few other people - that we were able to avoid - but he did a little of the growlies. I didn't pay attention to his ears and tail, but he didn't seem aggressive about it, just "I'll tolerate you being in my neighborhood but I'm telling you I'd prefer it if you weren't here." Gosh, he's just like me..!  ;-)  We came back, I showered, he slept, I picked up the sleepy little love and put him in his crate, and went to work.
Came home and he was glad to see me, waggy tail, out to pee on a Bush, mom made lunch, Milton hung out and came around once to see if I'd drop anything, eventually gave up (I've never given him people food and certainly never dropped anything when sitting at the table!), I was able to easily put him in his crate and go back to work.
Came home after work and my sweet Miltonator was really glad to see me. Did the reachies, waggy tail, I bent down to hug and kiss him and scratch his back and tell him how happy I was to see him and that there had been a lot of missing. He can stand with his front legs (arms!) on me for a long time! He ate a good dinner, we went in the cold dark rainy backyard, he did his business... crazy bad neighbor lady was outside on the deck yacking on her dang phone in the dark and the rain!! I swear the woman is nuts. I have never talked to her, but he hubby is a pretty decent guy... but they have high school / college age boys that enjoy throwing trash in my yard... anyway, that's neither here nor there!
So today we've worked on "look".  And I realized I was doing it wrong. I was saying "look" when he was already looking at me and then held eye contact for a long time. But I realized he needs to look at me when he isn't already. So we practiced that today. It's kind of hard because he doesn't look away from me that much. :-)
So now it's cuddle time. Another pretty good day.

November 12 2014
Milton and I have the best cuddles first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I come upstairs and let him out of his crate in the morning, and he stretches arms, legs... I go sit on the sofa and say "Streeetch! Stre-eeeech!" just to teach him words, then pat the sofa next to me and he jumps up and we cuddle. I caress his ears, his temples and cheeks, scratch his back, sometimes he flops over and shows his tummy and I rub it, he makes contented noises, sometimes I get little kisses, I whisper sweet nothings in his ears, for five or ten minutes... then I stand up and say "let's go pee on a bush!" and we go downstairs and out the door for a pee on the bush of his choice (George, Barbara, Jeb... hahaha).
Then we come back in and he bounds up the stairs, gets a toy, mom goes and makes coffee while Milton watches with his toy from just outside the kitchen. Mom fixes Milton's breakfast, tells him "stay", he does, mom says "OK!" in high happy voice and snaps fingers on both hands, Milton comes and eats breakfast, mom changes into walking clothes while he eats.
Last night was the first increase in Prozac dose and he needed a little encouragement to eat, but did, and ate all of it. We'll see how he does tomorrow. Our walk was uneventful - didn't encounter anyone.
When I came home for lunch, he was happy to see me and let me know that we'd gotten a package, but in a not frantic way like yesterday. He just went to the front door and reached up on it more eagerly than he usually does. We did a little training "sit" and "seek". Mommy made him sit and stay and then walked around dropping pieces of salmon treat around, then told him "seek!" He found some on his own "good seek!" and others I had to hint about. He seemed to enjoy this - I got a couple of kisses.
Tonight when I got home for the evening and let him out, he seemed happy to see me again, reached for me, I bent down and held and hugged him, I got a few kisses - this is really nice new behavior! After dinner I took him walkies, but only in the back yard - it is just too dark! I ordered a bright flashlight, reflective vests for both of us, a reflective leash, but until they arrive I'm only going to walk him around the back yard at night.
Bad neighbor woman was out on her deck yacking on the phone like she does almost 24/7, but the activity didn't distract Milton a bit. He did seem distracted by hearing distant doggies barking in the neighborhood. His head perked up and he looked in the direction of the barking, but no growling.
He just walked to the head of the stairs and made a little growl like maybe something was happening outside, but it was small and short, and then he went to get a drinky wa (drink of water). I'm always happy when he goes for water because it happens so infrequently.
Oh, forgot to mention that I also started practicing "look" - and he's really good at it like I thought he would be.
So all in all, today was a great day. Now it's time to read and cuddle before going to sleep. Ahhh! Life is good.

Nov 11 2014

The day of Dr. Beth's initial consultation.
She left and I went back upstairs. Milton was still quite upset, barking and leaping at the gate. I let myself into the kitchen with him and ignored the distress, just happy-acted "oh, look at all the treats!", picked some up and offered them to him. He ate a couple of them and ignored the rest. He got calmer and I made myself a slice of toast with peanut butter. He was calm at that point so I removed the gate and we went into the living room. He ran around a little, sniffing, looking to see if Dr. Beth was still there, I guess. I sat at the table, ate my toast. Milton lay down in the sunshine and was obviously worn out. After I inhaled my toast, I went over to him and leaned over, gave him his pettings and sweet nothings ("my sweet boy, yes, it's been a hard day! are you tired? I'll bet you're tired! I love you! Mommy loves her Milton!" etc. etc.). I picked him up and held him, kissed him, and was able to easily put him in his crate and leave for work as usual.
I didn't get home until 6:30!! CVS didn't have the scrip ready when I got there, so it took half an hour. I always leave a light on, and the Dog's Ear music was playing, but he was still quite glad to see me. As soon as I opened the crate door, he came flying out, jumped up on me and did "reachies" (with neither aggression nor joy, from what I could tell), ran around a little looking for you or someone... so I figured the postdude had come to the door and left a package there since there hadn't been any mail in the mailbox. He was very insistent about getting out the door - I put him on leash and we went out - sure enough, there was a package for mommy. And, he really had to pee! So was he still a little wound up from Dr. Beth's visit? the postdude coming to the door? having to pee worse than I've seen up to this point?
NOTE: normally when I open the crate door he comes out relatively slowly, stretches, maybe plops down for a petting or gets a toy out, etc. - pretty calm.
Anyway... then it was time for din-din! (7:00 tonight). I started him on the extra half tablet of prozac. He ate well. We went out for walkies and had to do an immediate u-turn since my good neighbor (Gene) was just getting home. But going the other way means almost pitch dark, and it's really hard for me to walk in that area. A flashlight barely makes a dent in the darkness. We got to one of his sometimes-poop spots and he was thinking about doing some solid business, but then there was another u-turner situation, meaning we had to go back toward the pitch-dark section of neighborhood. We got to another maybe-poop spot, but along comes another distraction, and at that point I just started to jog toward home as well as I'm able to. He seemed to enjoy that. He never did poop this evening, but since he did a nice one at noon, he's good for the night. Something's gonna need to change about the walk situation, though. I can't be running around in the pitch dark, because if I fall and injure my hip, that would be really, really, really bad from an expense standpoint.
Speaking of poop, I went in the back bedroom and happened to notice some little brown presents in the half-bathroom back there. I don't go in there much, so I don't know how long ago he did it. He doesn't even have access to that area much - so he's a sneaky little thing! He hasn't missed a morning or evening poop lately either, so I guess he made an extra one just for his mom! :-)
I spent a little time at work trying to set up a blog for this journal - what the heck has happened to wordpress and blogspot? They're practically undecipherable now. But I'll figure it out. So now it's 8:30 and I'm about to leave the computer for the night and cuddle and read with Milton on the couch for awhile. I was up until after midnight to meet my work deadline last night, so we might both fall asleep there. It happens frequently.
Hope you enjoy reading - this is what you get when you tell a writer to write!