November 16 2014
Once again, Milton was very tired this morning and just wanted to sleep. After a pee, I just let him sleep and didn't give him breakfast till about 9:00. We went walkies in the backyard and he pooped right away.
I think I just realized that I'm avoiding going for walks in the neighborhood like the plague. I don't like u-turning at all. I'll do it - and was doing it already - if we're obviously about to encounter a difficult situation (joggers, leaf blowers) but really, I don't even want to deal with it. He has a few preferred poop spots, and u-turning often means we walk away from a good poop spot. So we've been walking in the backyard a lot, which is not enough exercise for him.
On the other hand, he's done a lot of sleeping today.
Did more training, sit, stay, come, look, and down. Still don't get the clicker choreography. And he still isn't understanding "down", but I'll keep physically putting him into the position while I say "Down! Milton is down! Good down!" I know this isn't the optimal way, but he did learn "sit" that way. So we'll see what happens.
This afternoon Milton ran to the back door a few times (when I say that, I mean the sliding glass door) and got excited about squirrels, but not about the neighbor in back of me mowing and leaf blowing. The neighbor didn't seem to faze him at all, even though he could see and hear him. So maybe that's the Prozac, and is a big improvement!
It's cold and raining and I just HATE this weather, hate the darkness, hate the whole idea of going out in it. It makes me miss my two elderly boys, Kobi and Timmy who, if the weather was nasty would pee fast on the bushes but be happy to hold their solid business until the weather improved. Obviously I can't trust Milton not to poop in the house, so if he doesn't poop outside all I can do is put him in his crate. Not a good solution for either him or me.
Yep, sometimes I feel resentment. This little dog has turned my life upside down, and I was already so stressed by my job... but I made a promise that I was Milton's last home and that I would work with him no matter what. But I ask myself why? Why now? If I was still a religious or spiritual person I'd say "God never gives us more than we can handle" but that's just a BS platitude. I also miss every single one of my other doggies and find myself shedding tears every so often over one or another of them. From having Milton, I've learned more about them, and I wish I had them back so I could make up for my shortcomings as a puppy mom. 
Anyway... we had a good walk, encountered more cars but no people up close and personal, he was a good little walker and walks next to me with a slack leash most of the time. A big change from the pulling he did when I first got him.
Cuddle time and then off to sleep.